Being strong, in my family, is apparently a must. Strong in my definition of things means to be able to withstand powerful things. Weakness is by my definition, or so I have been raised to believe, is meaning to fail at something. I hate both of these definitions! These have only been instilled in my because that is the way my family thinks we should be. It isn't always good for a person to be strong, in my opinion. I know I strive so hard to be all the time but as I get older and realize the reality of things in the world around me, I realize being strong all the time is not possible. But yet we all try. I once told my best friend that I hate to cry in front of people because it feels like weakness and we are suppose to be strong. She told me that being strong means that you can cry in front of people and not feel weak. But as my family has lead me to believe that there is no place for weakness in my life. If they want to live that way, I guess go ahead. I know the lord will caught me when I fall. I think that being weak keeps us humble in the lords eyes. Come to think of, I believe the reason Christians are taught to be strong is so that the world would want to live for Christ. The world is much easier to live in. Living for Christ is not easy and some days I want to live in the world because things would be easier, but I know that is something I cannot do. Christ is my everything...he is everything I am. He never promised things would be easy but he did promise to be there through everything and he understands that we are human and that we will fail and fall sometimes. We, as humans, think we must be perfect at all times. That we must fit into every ones idea of perfect....this CANNOT and WILL NOT happen. Someone is always going to fall short....but the way I look at it, no one is perfect so we all fall short. Anyways, back to my main point, I think strength is something that is called for in sometimes but can also be forgot at times. Today, I found out a scholarship I had applied for was denied. Of course I was/am heartbroken, because I needed to it finish my schooling, so yeah I am a girl...I cry and I did....well someone near me said that I quote, "Suck it up and move on. There is no sense in crying over something so stupid." This person I looked up to as a young girl, and this breaks my heart, but now I see someone who has expectations of what I should be...the person I cannot be. This person, I use to follow ever step and I find myself feeling as if they don't care....that I have disappointed them. This is the person that I feel that I have to be strong so that I won't embarrass them or disappoint them. All they are doing is pushing me further away. Anyways, I heard a song that has helped me understand not getting this scholarship....weird, I know. I know it was something I needed but this song explains it. The chorus says this, " Make no mistake, every prayer you pray get answered, even though, sometimes, the answer is no.." This song is the most amazing song I've heard because we get caught up in things we want or need and just expect it to be handed over and sometimes it is best if the answer is no. Yes, I am talking to myself too. I know I need this scholarship and I don't understand why I didn't get it because I prayed like crazy and had the qualifications needed but it was no. Sometimes, even though, there is silence on the other side of our prayers we must believe which ever way things happen it was what the Lord thought was best. Sometimes we have to lose things to appreciate what we have and don't need...not only money wise but in other areas of our lives, but that is another story for another time. Strength vs weakness....which is less important?? Most people would say weakness, but I say strength. Because the only way to get strong is to face weakness....a weakness comes in a variety of things, such as, people, food, finding comfort in different things and people. In our weakness we are made strong by the lord. During the weakness trails in our lives is when the lord teaches us lessons. SO, if someone ever tells you to stop being weak....don't. Never know what you will learn in this weakness point in your life. I always thought these points in my life were punishments for things that I had done wrong. I am still not sure this isn't true but I hope not.
And Jesus said, "Come to the water; stand by my side.I know you are thirsty. You won't be denied.I felt every teardrop, when in darkness you cried.And I strove to remind you, that for those tears I died."
Be blessed until next time. :)
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