Mistakes are a HUGE part of my life. I know I am not perfect and I make a bunch of mistakes. But the older I get the more I have. I am trying to be strong and I am not as strong as I use to be. I feel today as if my world is crashing down. I have made a huge mistake and I feel awful and their is nothing I can say or do to make things better. I just want to disappear, go back and make this thing go away. I wish I could be someone else, then I might make less mistakes. I absolutely hate myself today. I don't even want to be breathing right now. That would be the point when the pain would stop and I would not feel anything. I want to be stronger with less feeling. I want him to know that I am so sorry, that I made a mistake saying and doing those things. I am not perfect. So I guess I will learn to change who I am to be the person I need to be for our relationship. It is like stuffing me into a box. It will take some work to get into it but I can do it. I will change everything about who I am so that he and we can be happy. It will take some time for me to get use to the idea but everything will be alright. I might hate myself even more but at least our relationship will be good and he will be happy. So here goes the transformation of ME to the girl who looks like me but a robot.
